These two voices in your head are trying to sabotage you
At this very moment, I have 3 competing voices chattering in my head. Before you worry or start trying to find treatment for me, hear me out.
I actually think we ALL have 3 voices chattering away… the inner critic (monger), the fake BFF and your biggest fan. 🤔
I recently learned about “The Happier Approach” by Nancy Jane Smith and I swear she must have gotten inside my brain and put into perfect words what it is like to have high functioning anxiety.
Folks with high functioning anxiety often over function on the outside and have a constant motor of anxiety running inside. We look like we’re in control but feel so tired, overwhelmed and oftentimes just feel like a hot mess. Here’s a link to her podcast if your curiosity is peaked https://www.nancyjanesmith.com/podcast/
She talks about the 3 distinct voices, the Inner critic/Monger, the Fake BFF, and the Biggest Fan that we all have chatting away in our brains. So how do these voices show up and what do they sound like?
The Monger: This voice’s job is to “protect” you from failure and she is mean and nasty. She says things like:
“I haven’t been a therapist that long, so I can’t raise my fee”
“Who do you think you are?” “Don’t send that email you are going to annoy people.” 😣OUCH!
Your Fake BFF: She’s here to intervene when you are sick and tired of the mean and nasty voice. She comes in for self compassion but she tends to overdo it and lets you off the hook. But damn is she is convincing… and sounds so sweet… She says things like:
“You don’t need to keep your boundary on scheduling…it seems really uncomfortable.”
“Doing my notes isn’t really fun, so you should just watch netflix and do something you enjoy.”
She encourages you to quit… but you know you will feel regret and that deeper desire to do “the thing” is still there.
Your Biggest Fan: This voice is the best🥰, she is kind, loving, compassionate, generous and best of all she always has your back. She will tell you when to step up, when to go for it. She says things like:
“Raising your fee is hard! We don’t know what will happen next, but YOU are worth it. I will be proud of you when you do this and THEN you can go and rest.”
My reason for telling you about the voices in my head is twofold. I want you to know that I am human too AND I want you to be curious about your voices and how they may be getting in the way from you working towards your goals.
How are YOUR inner critic/monger and fake BFF getting in the way of your goals?
Even if you are the most confident person in the world, it is likely that you still have to battle with your inner voices to work towards your goals.
When you are pushed to do something new or something that will take you out of your comfort zone, it makes sense that you would have some doubt and reluctance to move forward.
Tell that Monger and Fake BFF to step aside and let the Biggest Fan’s voice be the loudest. With this voice in control, you will be able to move towards your goals WITHOUT the shame and drama and the monger and Fake BFF bring!
Xoxo
Robyn
Drop me a note in the comments and let me know what you wish your Biggest Fan would say to you?
